enough is enough

so im finally home. finally watching the sorcerer's apprentice. my mouth is still hurting. i think its just soreness now. its mostly when i move my mouth, like when i eat or talk. i now have a bruise on the left side my face as well. and a lump on the under right side of my chin. my mom made pancakes this morning. it was a chore to eat those. and i think thats why im in so much pain. i was okay when i woke up. my face looks more normal than it did. im not looking forward to going to work. specially still being in pain. i just want things to be okay. i just want things to be good again. this whole thing with keefer is driving me insane. i just wish him and i could be friends. just friends. thats all i want. but right now we cant even do that. maybe some time apart will be good? i just am not used to this. hes been such a big part of my life the past 2 years. i hope that one day him and i can get along and be friends like we used to be. we used to have so much fun. it really sucks that things have gone so sour. im afraid to start school. im worried about doing well. im worried about keeping my sanity with a busier schedule than i already have. i wonder if i'll meet anyone cool. i want to see the black swan. keefer and i were supposed to see it together. but he didnt have the money, and now we're not talking.. sooooooo idk! i wish i had someone to see it with. i wish i had anyone right now. i feel like i have no one now. i guess it would be different if i wasnt in pain. i just want to be happy. i dont need to be super skinny. i think i look just fine the way i am. and one day maybe i'll find someone who likes me just the way i am. maybe.